Black
by FairLadyAthusia
Summary: Mergana. May become a full story, not sure yet. Rated M for later chapters. Set between seasons 2 and 3. I own nothing! Merthur (friendship only)


**AN: Mergana, may become a full story eventually. This is set between seasons 2 and 3. Song lyrics from Black by Kari Kimmel**

When everything turns to black

You don't know where to go

All the rules are changing now

You're living in sin

Everything around you is caving in

All you're holding on to

Slipping like water through your hands

Far off in the distance

Somewhere you can't see

Allegiances have formed your destiny

Opposition all around

Feeding off your soul

Trying hard to swallow up you whole

And the demons all around you waiting

For you to sell your soul

(Arthur)

He could see right through Merlin. He knew about the magic. He knew about his relationship with Morgana. He knew everything. It hurt him far more than he knew it should that Merlin didn't trust him with this information. When he tried to break down Merlin's walls, he only saw the determination in his friends' eyes just before he built them up higher. To be truthful, it broke his heart. How was he to focus on being a good king when he was worried about his best friend? He cared about Merlin more than he would ever admit; he knew that Merlin cared for him as well. He wanted to protect his friend, to shelter him. When he looked at his friends he saw his shoulders hunched under the weight of his sorrow, the darkness under his eyes betraying how absolutely tired he was from carrying it all, and he was shadows in his eyes instead of lights.

When he saw how distracted Merlin was he would try to take his mind off of things with a tease or a joke, his efforts went unnoticed by a Merlin who seemed beyond seeing anything in front of him. The time was coming for Arthur to tell him al that he knew, before his friend collapsed under the weight of the world. Also because the agony that was rapidly spreading from his friend seemed to engulf the whole of Camelot, and Arthur couldn't take it any longer. He would find Morgana for Merlin, or he would die trying.

(Merlin)

He remembered it all. Every night he thought about her. He knew how wrong it was to wish that those sinful red lips were on his, however his heart ached when he denied himself these thoughts. When he wasn't thinking wistfully of her radiant body, he thought of her situation. He remembered all too well the betrayal in those lovely, green eyes. The way the tears flowed out as he held her close, and the way her chest twitched and heaved in its attempt to take in air. He wondered often if telling Morguase the type of poison he had used was the right thing to do. But as morgana had lain there, a sickly pale, and chillingly still, he knew he had to. Most of the time when his mind wasn't in Camelot with Arthur, fulfilling his destiny, it was somewhere far off, where he thought she was. He would often see things he didn't recognize, and he somehow knew he was seeing what she saw. He was always pulled back to Camelot far too quickly for his liking, often by Arthur. He knew his friend worried about his suddenly distant behavior, but he could not stop. He went to see Kilgarrah regarding it once. Disliking his insistence that this habit break, Merlin had yet to visit him again.

When his mind was not on the disdainful and dreary, it was on the distant and delightful past, when Morgana and he had begun courting. Unknown to any besides them, and probably Gwen, they planned to wed. He remembered all too well the love he held in his heart for that red rose woman, who had only too happily pricked him with her thorns. He had yet to stop bleeding. When he closed his eyes and saw her smiling and she lay back against his chest, or he felt the ghost of her lips against his, he felt his heart rip into even smaller pieces. When Arthur tried to talk to him he blocked him out. It was too difficult to even begin explaining to the young king. And far too dangerous. It would involve revealing his magic so that Arthur could understand the bond he and morgana had shared. And he could not risk Albion for a chance at lifting the weight in his chest. He was not worth that much. At least, his happiness wasn't.

(Morgana)

She didn't know why she was here. Morguase was molding her into a weapon, she wasn't blind, she could see it all. Why wasn't she stopping it? What about Merlin? She shuddered as his name entered her mind once more. He had betrayed her, hadn't he? He had killed her, or at least attempted to. Her mind tried to reason out the truth. As she watched her sister teach her about magic, she couldn't focus. Her sister looked into her eyes for a long time, a question in her gaze. Morgana struggled inside herself. Was she meant to do this? To avenge her people that were tortured under Uther? Merlin had taken her in, he had taught her much about good magic. Morguase didn't know about her and Merlin, she had made sure of that. Morguase had used his betrayal to feed her anger for so long now. But she wasn't angry anymore. She could see right through Morguase, she saw her intentions for Camelot. She needed morgana, far more than morgana needed her. What she didn't know was that morgana knew everything. And that she would prove to be the greatest ally, before she became her greatest enemy.

As she met her sisters questioning gaze, she began to nod, determination building inside her. She would do as Morguase asked, and return to Camelot. She would attempt to take Camelot, and side with Morguase. Until behind closed doors, where she would tell merlin the truth, and they would use her alliance with Morguase against her sister. She knew that merlin loved her. When she dreamt of him crying over her, or sneaking into her chambers because he missed her, she knew the truth. That it was Morguase who had betrayed her by placing her into enemy hands without even knowing what she was doing. She would protect Merlin and Arthur and stand by them as they united Albion. Just as Merlin had told her.

**AN: I will be adding a second chapter within a week, fret not. It will have more face to face, not just reflections. **


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